I can't stop thinking about her. I want to know if she's sleeping well, or eating well, or what she does to entertain herself in her spare time. My entire 9 hour shift is spent thinking about Gura. When people come to talk to me during my shift I get frustrated that they broke me out of fantasizing about Gura. I fantasize about winning the lottery only so I can send red SCs to Gura. I check the thread whenever I can sneak a look at my phone and CTRL + F "Gura" on every archived thread for the whole day. I pretend to take bathroom breaks so I can look at the thread. I leave work early to watch her. I call in sick to watch her. The one time I missed her stream because it was early, I was in the worst mood I can recall from recent memory. I haven't spent time with my parents in months even though we live together. I can no longer enjoy the video games I used to play because I'd rather be watching Gura. I send her superchats every stream just praying she'll read my name and laugh at my comments. When Gura cancels a stream I rush to the thread to defend her honor even though it's literally meaningless. Any time someone insults her I take it personally. The further away from a stream we are in either direction is directly proportional to how bad of a mood I'm in. Whenever she cancels a stream I spend an hour reading the thread and feeling bad.
I feel like I should tack on that I have no delusions of ever meeting her online or in person, just in case people think I'm dangerous.