Quoted By:
Four score and seven years ago, some spicnigga came up all in my shit. I was busy setting up Nitroplus while the Western FGC was trying to sabotage me, but had misplaced my hitbox amidst all the ruckus. Michiyoshi drew a penis on it, so I know it's mine.
"Sup lil nigga," he asked. "Why you so lil nigga?"
"Fuck was that for, nigga?" I said to this Febreze-wearing cliffy.
"Ain't dat yo shit hanging over there, dawg?"
"Where, nigga?"
"Over there, dude," he said, pointing to a most unfortunate sight. You see, Dojima had been shuffling the events all day, with people going in and out of tables like they were this guy's mom on Taco Tuesday. Somehow, the Michibox had moseyed its way into the hands of some tranny two tables down, which I suspect had to do with Granblue taking place half an hour ago. I was having none of it.
I raced over to what was currently the Alpha 2 table, where I saw the thief with her girlfriends mashing Sakura crossups. The stench was unbearable, but that's probably because one of them was manspreading.
"Who dares plunder the ogre's riches?" I yelled, forgetting for a split second this wasn't /fgg/.
"This country was built on stolen land, chud," the nice lady said. "Besides, redistribution is good for everyone. My snackbox broke last gooning session!"
"What the fuck is a gooning session?"
"It's settled, then. If you want your hitbox back, you'll have to go through me first!"
I was up kuso creek without a paddle. Not only did I not have my controller, but Alpha 2 is a game which requires footsies to do well in, for which I was clearly deficient. At that moment, there was a palpable chance my gloves would never grace the Michibox again.
I was stripped for answers, but suddenly one would emerge. The crowd behind me parted like the Red Sea, as if God had sent me an angel in my darkest hour.
"Actually, Alpha 2 is a very hypocritical game, dude. Like, Jesus Christ, the FGC, dude. FGC on NBC, dude!"
There he was. The Great White Hope.
Him.
